So, This is it.
Within the next 3 days we will be able to meet our baby. These last 9 months have flown by, sure we have had some months where it has dragged a little bit, but these last 3 days are going to be the longest by far.
The biggest thing that is on both of our minds is when. When is the baby going to come?
I know its been like this for the last few weeks, but today it’s been escalated due to the 3 day window.
So why 3 days?
Well, our consultant didn’t like the growth of the baby over the last 2 scans, so they want to induce Bella. We wasn’t too happy with what the consultant said, but we agreed to it anyway. But we were under the impression that we could go in and have the 24 hour pessary then go home. If it works, great, we will have the baby come soon, if not, well we tried.
It didn’t go that way, the midwife told us that she would have to stay in due to possible complications, but we have the freedom to go home if that’s what we really want. Bella agreed to stay in and that’s why we have our 3 day countdown.
Before I go any further, I just want to say Bella has been and is amazing. She hates being in hospital, away from home, away from me, but she has done it as she is so excited to meet our baby. This morning she was so excited but got knocked down a few levels when she heard she would have to stay in. But after our decision was made, she picked back up and is once again super excited.
I can’t wait to to meet our baby as well, but I’m not going to lie, I’m scared. I’m so scared. Although we have such a great support network around us, I’m worried about my abilities as a father. The first thing on my mind is just holding the baby, I haven’t ever held a newborn, and I keep getting told “oh as soon as you do, it will be natural” and somewhat I believe them, but until that time, I’m scared. I’m also scared about general life, I know we will be fine, as just about everyone has had babies and been fine, but its an uncertainty that worries me. The fears of everything, but despite all this, I know with Bella by my side and vice versa, we can do anything and we will do the best we can!
For a man having a child is such a weird sensation. One day its there, in Bellas belly and then within a day you are taking care of this fragile little thing. This thing you have never met before, but you love and want to do everything you can to look after it. The feeling at this point is unimaginable, but I know, when its come and I hold it in my arms for the first time and I look down at this baby that Bella and I made it will be true love.